QUICK! Before you read this post I invite you to put in the comments what comes up for you when you read/hear the word ‘needy.’ Let’s create a little dictionary of our conditioned experience.[Creating space for you to consider and comment]
For me, being needy used to be associated with having ‘too many’ needs, being ‘high maintenance,’ or being ‘too much.’
Today (and every day) I am here to advocate for a refresh on our relationship with our needs.
Because it is NATURAL and NORMAL to have needs. In fact, there are multiple UNIVERSAL needs which all people share.
Long story short.. we are ALL need-y!
After all, you have a need for clean air, don’t you? Clean drinking water? Nutrition? Shelter? Clothing?
Do you also have a need for choice, freedom and empowerment?
What about a need for confidence, fulfillment and growth?
Or respect, inclusion, adventure, fun, humour, leisure, joy and learning?
These are things that we all have in COMMON! These are aspects of your Sovereignty and my Sovereignty as PEOPLE.
find a list of universal human needs here
Of course, the system of oppression that we live under wants to make having a rich and diverse set needs ‘bad.’ After all, the more machine-like you are, the more productive you are, the more you can be exploited for profit within the system of capitalism.
Responding to our needs has been CONDITIONED OUT OF US in order to make us high functioning labourers.
But we ARE NOT MACHINES. We are people. And this conditioning is taking a huge toll on people’s health and wellness.
There is another way. And it is a fundamental middle finger to capitalism and white supremacist delusion.
Instead of suppressing and condemning your needs, you can apply practical tools and practices to start increasing your ‘needs literacy.’
This could sound like, “When I feel [insert feeling here], it often indicates that I have an (un)met need for [insert need here].”
THIS IS SELF-INTIMACY.
THIS IS SELF-RESPONSIBILITY.
THIS IS EMPOWERMENT.
This is The One Person Revolution.
Story Time: When I discovered how needs-illiterate I was, I went through a period of mourning (fun fact: mourning is actually a need!). Feelings of pure rage, frustration, agony and overwhelm hit me in waves as I realized my unmet needs for trust, wellness, respect, dignity and empowerment.
I was furious. And the more I unlearn, the more furious I get. I AM A PERSON, NOT A COG IN A SYSTEMIC MACHINE. And no matter how hard the system has worked to condition and socialize me into a palatable role, I DO NOT CONSENT and will actively continue to unlearn and interrupt.
I embrace myself as a person – the kind of thing that THRIVES given its Sovereignty. And I advocate for the Sovereignty of every person on and including this planet.
And so as I practice reconnecting with myself and getting to know my needs, I just throw up that middle finger [at capitalism and white supremacist delusion] and let it linger. (I’ve also been reconnecting with 90’s Eminem lately 😜).
Want to join me?
Bolstering your needs literacy is a fundamental part of The One Person Revolution.
Because conflict (internal and external) occurs at the level of STRATEGY, not at the level of NEED.
At the level of need, you can connect with anyone, anywhere, across any line of difference, because needs are something that we all have in common.
If you and me and everyone could have a robust literacy of our needs, no longer would we confuse our NEEDS (i.e. security) with our STRATEGY to meet those needs (i.e. money).
And once we get that straight, the blinders fall off and creativity enters, allowing us to come together in collaboration to strategize in a way where EVERYONE’S NEEDS ARE MET.
Sacrifice is not necessary. Compromise is not necessary. There doesn’t have to be winners and losers. ALL PEOPLE THRIVE WHEN WE EACH PRACTICE BEING DEVOTED TO THE SOVEREIGNTY OF PEOPLE.
Click here to read more about the conceptual underpinnings of the one person revolution
If you want to increase your needs literacy and your connection to yourself, please consider joining in the Compassionate Communication Masterclass series starting on August 10!
Throw up that middle finger to the oppressive conditioning that is actively trying to keep you down.
Learn how to be KIND to yourself and others in a SUSTAINABLE way!
This is revolutionary stuff, and if you are feeling the call, I invite you to answer. The course is filling up, and with only 9 spots left I invite you to ask any questions that you have, and/or join us today!
In solidarity and interruption,
This post is inspired by the work of:
Marshall Rosenberg and the CNVC